New Year/Favourite Things

I'm so glad 2025 is over. What a year. Nothing particularly 'bad' happened, but I was definitely stuck in a repeat loop of past themes that felt super uncomfy and forced me to face myself a bit and get back to therapy. That's been really helpful, and I'm working through a lot of my patterns, but with a lot of self-compassion and understanding of why-I-always-seem-to-go-towards-things-that-feel-exciting-but-are-not-safe-or-beneficial-to-longterm-growth-and-happiness.

I'm in one of those phases where I don't feel like taking big steps forward. Just little ones. I'm not stuck, but I don't want to rush my healing. So my intention this year is to slow down my brain, slow down my actions (and reactions) to all things. I'm taking a lot of comfort in solitary activities; reading, yoga, writing. It's nice to feel like I'm getting my baseline back and recognizing the comfort and safety in my own body/mind/heart/soul.

I'm working on a new book. It's very, very early stages, but I finally got some inspiration for a theme, at least. After writing Helvetica in 2022, I kind of hit a writer's block period where I just didn't feel like I had much to say. I get most creatively influenced by periods of extreme distress, so I guess it's a good sign that I've had less material over the past few years. But yes, new book, going to revamp my website and rebrand and have a fun photoshoot soon and get some more recent pics up. The vision is materializing.

I haven't made a 'favourite things' list in suuuuch a long time. I was thinking about this the other day. Sometimes it's nice to remember that not all things suck, (especially in winter, when it kinda does feel like, all things suck).

So here are some of my favourite things, in no particular order:

1. the Spicy Rainbowl poke bowl from Olu Olu

2. the way my Dad always fixes/builds my stuff when he's in town (the OG handyman)

3. Tarot (dog/cards)

4. Deep diving into research 'themes'. I'm currently obsessed with learning all about the history of the Lower East Side in NY and reading so many books that take place there/geeking out on music history

5. Solo travel and cityscapes. So excited to go to NY in February and see a show + eat everything + do yoga at some of my dream studios

6. Family fondue night

7. Sister voice clip exchanges that go on all day long

8. Tracking how many more minutes of daylight we are getting each day as a way to survive winter

9. Tracking moon cycles and planetary transits to survive self

10. Journal rants

11. Hot flow

12. Yin

13. Sound baths

14. Navigating the questions that my 7 and 8 year-old sons ask me (who was the first person who was ever blind? are the colour red and the colour blue enemies? what shirt would you want to be wearing when you die?) They keep me entertained endlessly at these ages!

15. Benetint lip tints

16. Mom

17. Cute yoga clothes

18. Summer dresses (cannot WAIT for dress season to be back)

19. Making/finding the perfect playlist to match my mood

20. Loving. People. Life. Everything. To an almost painful degree, at times.

21. Alchemizing pain into art/creativity/writing (I might start painting again, that was fun for awhile)

22. How no matter how bad my dating life is, I can always count on the guy at the gas station near my house to tell me 'you're the most beautiful woman I've seen in the past 3 three years' . So specific. lol. Maybe I should go to Tunisia with him, he keeps asking...

23. Knowing that I'm not for everyone but I AM FOR gas station bros! They love me.

24. Releasing attachments, even if it's uncomfortable to let go, it gets easier

25. Trusting that things are unfolding for my greater good

26. Accepting that I don't always know what I want

27. Sour Patch Kids

28. That my ex-husband still brings me all my favourite chocolates and treats when he goes back home

29. That my ex-husband and I were actually able to build a healthy friendship after the most heartbreaking/painful separation of life

30. That I can actually cry to him when other boys make me sad and it's not weird

31. Working with the best team

32. Remembering a time when I gave up my career in fashion to write, even though it didn't seem like a lucrative option or something that would pay the bills. And now, it's both :)

33. Mango smoothies

34. Swiss summers and all the magic and stillness they bring

35. True crime documentaries. I think I've watched every.single.one

36. Sushi picnics

37. Beach/lake days

38. Exploring a new city/country alone

39. Finding new ways of looking at old situations (situationships, too, lol)

40. Refusing to 'situationship' any more at age 41

41. Taking a break from dating

    

    Last day of 2025

42. Except for dates with self (and some girls)

43. Blaring Gracie Abrams and letting my girl rage out to play (and tears)

44. When winter gives way to spring, and there's this, 'ahhh we made it' internal feeling of relief

45. Going to shows (even if I get cranky for having to stay up late to watch bands I like and chose to go and see play)

46. Early bedtime, so what?

47. Bubble baths with books

48. Candles

49. Finance spreadsheets (why am I such a geek? Does anyone else like personal finance as much as I do?)

50. Libraries

51. Coffee shops

52. Spas

53. Nice people

54. Watching how much my sons have bonded with their cousins since moving back to Canada. It makes me so happy to see the 4 boys developing such strong relationships

55. How sweet it is when my boys get to be with their family in Switzerland in the summer. How special it is that we have family pretty much all over, and find ways to see them all as much as possible.

56. Knowing that parenting isn't always easy, but it's always rewarding and meaningful. All I want is for my boys to be kind (they are), care about people (they do), be curious (they are), and feel emotionally safe (I hope they do).

57. Friends you can just be 'not OK' with (Chris Boston!)

58. Friends who always make you feel better (Erica)

59. Friend who is the friend of all friends (Ash)

60. Allowing myself the space to rest/retreat/heal when needed (pretty good at this after having a very serious burnout in 2020-21)

61. Realizing I am physically stronger at 41 than at any other time in my life, even in my 20's when I worked out allllll the time (but never strength! I was always doing cardio and tanning like a real basic gym biatch)

62. No longer caring at all about body metrics, and only tracking fitness goals by 'how fit do I feel? how good do I feel?'

63. Trying to also use this formula in relationships, 'how does this make me feel?' vs 'how hot is he and why is he so beautifully sad and....should I try to fix him?'

64. Cool trees

65. Lyrics that are so relatable that you feel almost violated

66. Taking back bands/music that were formerly 'ruined' by memories. Yeah, Social Distortion is back

67. Decentering men

68. Learning. Back to school TODAY! First class back after a 10 year hiatus: Biomedical Ethics.

69. Montreal summers

70. Bienne summers

71. Long hair (I think my hair is the longest it's ever been and I'm so happy)

72. Clean slates. Do-overs. New starts.

73. Yoga friends

74. Having a dog again

75. Caring

76. Doing my best. Giving myself a break when I don't always get it right. Realizing I am my own worst critic and there really isn't a 'right' or 'wrong' way, just life.

    
    

    

    Slowly shapeshifting back to myself

    
    

77. Numerology and finding beauty in numerical patterns

78. Seeing beauty in ALL patterns

79. Blessing all the weird/confusing/sad/heavy feelings and remembering that they are a neccessary part of the journey

80. Letting go soooo much every time I lay on my yoga mat. It's where I feel my best, and that's probably cause it's the only place I can shut my brain off.

81. Coffee.

82. Deep-diving into documentaries and making them my whole personality. Ask me about my fascination with alpinism and how many Alex Honnold docs I have watched. So fascinating. Same goes for NASA and space-related documentaries.

83. Mat Kerekes. So obsessed with his solo stuff after being a longtime Citizen fan. So excited to see him live next month in NY.

84. Perfume

85. Collecting shells and rocks on beaches.

86. Coastal towns

87. Forgiving everyone, always. No grudges for this girl.

88. Nostalgia.

89. Daydreaming.

90. Train rides in Europe.

91. Snacks.

92. Diet Coke.

93. Being cozy and comfy at all times.

94. Calendars.

95. Flowers.

96. Long walks (extra points when it's not winter)

97. Starting over again and again and never giving up on myself

98. Cute water bottles.

99. Scars.

100. Hugs.